The weekend round up.

Well i thought it about time to do a bit of a weekend round up.
Really not much to report what so ever....
BUT, i thought i should try.
Friday night was dinner at rozzels parents place, really not much to report there....
Saturday morning was really
Actualy scrap the weekend round up, ros and i did fuck all, we went out to tea on satd'y night with Matt and Jill and Gareth, Sunday we went and saw the Incredibles, which i thought was fucking awesome!!!!
I mean the movie was pretty dam funny, but the animation BLEW MY FUCKING MIND!
The water was fucking awesome, the hair on all the characters was again fucking amazing, and when the water and hair were joined, eg wet hair, it looked even better!
i dunno the animation really made me sit up and jizz all over the place.
Sunday night was dinner again at rozzels parents and we watched dodge ball, which was pretty funny, except when ben stiller was in it.
Heres the deal.
If ben stiller is going to act normal, eg meet the parents, duplex and so forth, good he shall be alowed in the movie.
If ben stiller is going to act like a fucking moron, eg dodgeball and zoolander and all those other movies where hes a fucktard, i think every movie that he is a producer on, means hes a fucktard, so yeah i love ben stiller when hes actualy acting, instead of trying to jim carey act, which he cant, i mean in starsky and hutch, he was piss funny!!!
Anyway thats the rules.
Once again vince vaugh was awesome, as he always is!
and any movie which has the line, "Fucking Chuck Norris!" gets a bit thumbs up!
Well after reading everyone elses blog, it seems everyone had a much more exciting weekend than me
Peace out.

Fattys on Parade.

Well.
Today, Laurie and i witnessed the most extraordinary display of stupidness!!
I am still baffled and amazed by the retardedness of the situation.
Phone rings
ring ring
Donna picks it up.
hello fire check consultants... (ok that takes about 1 hour to say)
Ahh no sorry we dont have anyone of that name here.
Ok good bye.

Then she waddles over to me and goes, well glen you have been replaced.
Glen: sorry? huh? wtf?
ahh that was sonone on the phone after roslyn waldron...

Glen: *slaps palm to his head in frustration*

Come on people
if you were answering phones for a small company and knew who ros was, and knew that if it was something for ros, it probably would be for me, eg if ros wasnt there, which she wasnt going to be, it would be pretty easy to work out to GIVE THE CALL TO ME!!!
OMG OMG OMG HOW FUCKING DUMB IS SHE!
Laurie and i couldnt believe how retarded she is.
!!!!!
Fuck shes dumb.
i would like to introduce a new word to your venaculars, or vocabularys, whcih ever you use.
When ever someone is / does a really retarded thing, eg falling down stairs, or has a really dumb air head moment, please, label them a donna.

eg:
OMG Laurie just asked if the sun was out at nighttime
WHAT A FUCKING DONNA!
ps, lauire didnt actualy ask that, i just had to find a really fucking dumb thing.

The batting storys Continue.

This one cam from frank, from when he was working as a bouncer in Show Girls.


well one of the girls came over to him and said that there was this dude playing wiht himself near the stage,
frank told her it he was prolly just scratching him self,
So he walked over and here's a guy with his hand down his pants batting like crazy. Frank didnt want to talk to him so he walks over to him thinking that he will get the hint...
The guy just ignores him, and keeps batting eventualy he looks over at frank, and then smiles nods and looks back to the stage and continues....
So it turns out this bloke is from indonesia or somethign just off a ship... so he goes over to the batting man's captain tells him theres no wacking in the club.
So his Captain takes him outside, and frank tells the chick to not let him back in.
5 mins later he gets a call from the front girl who is like ahh the dude is back.... He was back, and batting off in the Queen street mall.... with his dick out.... not in his pants anymore... so frank tells him to stop, the guy just keeps wacking away, so he rings the cops, tells the guy hes called the cops, and the batting man just smiles and keeps batting, in the mall.......
Anyway the cops get there and take him away.....
What a fucking crazy bugger!!!
ahahah
Nice story Frank.
If anyone has any others, post them in comments!
Cheers

Day 3

Well my good blog followers, if there is any...
Squash last night was fun.
Lawnrice, Frank, and I hadn't played for about a month, so we weren't really expecting much greatness, but well Lawnrice and i didn't break the mould.
Frank on the other hand just beat us around the court.
Speaking of Beat....
Well after my second game i was upstairs watching Frank decimate Lawnrice, and i was opening the windows at the back of the courts up to let some air in, and i look over to the house next door, see this dude in front of a pc, and shit moving on the screen, and im like, i wonder what game hes playing...
anyway after i opened up the next set of windows and i could see more of a side on view...
Well u know how i said speaking of beat....
Well once i worked out what the fuck he was doing i started pissing my self laughing, and went back and told lawnrice and frank, which made lawnrice proceede to loose his game even more convincingly because he was laughing so much!!!!
Anyway in retrospect i wish i had of yelled something at them.
EG Buy some curtains u cheap cunt!
or maybe even
Hey everyone, this guys watching GAY PORN!
that probably would of stoped him...
Anyway this dude was jerking his chain in the FULL view of everything.
No curtains.
No blinds.
Windows wide open.
Lights on.
No shame!

Also, fish cakes, made from potato, fish, carrots, and celery, taste pretty good, once smothered in Sweet chillie Sauce, it would of been even more delicious, had the celery not been in there..
So ros and i decided without celery it would be pretty good.
Anyway cya chumbs later!

Day 2 of healthy Eating.

Yell its the second day of healthy eating, and yesterday was hard.
It was ok while i was hear on my own, even after lauire was here for a hour or so, but when i went to get my apple (yes i know glen eating fruit, has the world gone topsy turvey?) lawnrice requested a coke, which was fine, but apon hearing the distinct noise a can of coke makes when it is opened, the cravings set in.
During the day while other people of the office partook in their dauly rituals of the love of the coke, the noises kept echoing thru my skull.
I can still hear them now....
Its like that time i was in nam, well i havent actualy been there. ok scab that sentence its going nowhere.
Last night on the way home from work i had to go to coles to get some Pearl barley, not sure why, but rozzels needed it for some healthy dish we are to be partaking in lateron in the week.
The only problem was i had to walk past a fish and chip shop who have really delicious potato scalops, and i must say i was really quite tempted, but , i was a good person, and stayed my primeaval urges to devour the delicious golden brown portion of potato.
The meal rozzie cooked last night didnt taste like it was suposed to be healthy, it was fucking delicious.
It was all tomarto-ey and chiken-ey and tasted awesome, The wholemeal rice, was fairly ordinary, but when mixed into the chikeney-tomartoey goodness your couldnt taste its lake of taste.
Coke craving has lessened, maybe drinking another 4L's of water today will help...
God knows ill be pissing like a waterfall again.

127mm Door Latch.

What a strange title you may ask?
Well turns out a 127mm door latch cost $60.
Why is this important?
Its not.
Actually it relates fundamentally to the story.
Last night as we were leaving to go to mum and dads we shut the door, and were about to leave the main door to the complex, when i asked ros if she had the keys, she's like nah u do, which i responded, ahhhh fuck.
Anyway the helpful dudes from across the hall and above us, came and tried to break into the unit through the glass doors, which they would of done, if not for the sticks of dowel in the door tracks.
Which worked like a fucking treat. (as a security measure, not as a breaking in measure.)
Anyway we were deciding whether to not to call the real estate man, and Chris pipes up with we can break the lock and get in if u want.... now if we had of called the real estate man he would of opened the door, and sparky would of gone, hello hello im a hyper dog hello hello, and the real estate man would of gone, u have a DOG????
so yeah.
Anyway, the ease in which normal front door (or entrance locks) can be broken, was astounding.
Take 1 set of multi grips
apply to the door handle
squeeze
twist
DONE.
Took 3 seconds for chrism to do it.
And we were like..... FUCK ME.
Anyway off to bunnings on the way home to pick up a new door handle.
Which we did. $20.
Not to bad, i think quite reasonable.
We get home from dinner, and tried to install the new door handle / lock, turns out 90% of all doors have either a 60mm or 70mm door latch.
I needed a 127mm hatch.
Because our unit was made from curry, or by a curry man, anyway.
Off to bunnings on the way to work.
CANNOT find a 127mm door latch.
Went to another shop, one of the dudes helped me out saying check the trade back section, so i went down the back (riveting isn't it!) and to the trade section told the bloke what i was after, and he scurry s off out the back, and comes back with a 127mm door latch
EXACTLY what i was after, so i went and got a knob that would fit the door, and away i go.
Turns out the 127mm door latch was $60.
So if i can offer any advice to anyone seeking a new job, its this, go into the 127mm door latch construction industries.
You would make a killing!!!!

Ok folks, have a good day.

Urban Dictonary

I had never really been to this website, maybe once or twice.
I was preusring grants blog (go to nyes, link to phills, then link to grants, well thats how i get there anyway)
Anyway they have a random buttons which gives you all sorts of fantastic words.
and definitions.
Like this one.

"Houdini, The
Doin' a girl from behind, pulling out before you get a chance to come, spitting on her back (only to cause her to turn around), releasing your mangoo into her face and yelling 'Abracadbra bitch!'."

Dahahahahah!

And another one.

"Spiderman
The act of jizzing in your hand after pulling out and then throwing it in your partner's eye.
Girl 1: Why are your eyes all red and swollen?
Girl 2: My boyfriend spiderman'd me last night."

As a side note, apon thowing "it" the words "go web go" should be said.


Oh good lord this one is TOPS!

" beef curtains
n. the resulting low hanging, loose, flappy labia from muliple bangings of the female genitalia
"I was doing this slut the other day and her beef curtains were hanging almost to her knees.""

Oh god this website is GOD
"piss biscuit
Deodorant cake hung on rim of toilet bowl.
It's about time to replace the piss biscuit."
Genious!

Day on the boat.

Heres some photos from sunday (i wasnt there...)





Looks like it was a good day.
Cheers.

Hello my little blogenstiens

Well after reading Figgies VERY in depth lan report, and loosing my mind over the fact that ken has bloged, i decided that getting a copy of this Dawn of war game is a definate must.
Last night saw wild things being on the tv, and being hideously cut down to tv acceptance.
Terrible.
They left in the scene when Kevin bacon and matt dillio get it on tho, of all the scene why leave the 2 gay men scene in it.....
Saturday night was sarah's 21st 80's party.
It was pretty cool, but as James remarked, it was hard to tell where the costumes finished and their real clothes began.
There were a lot of people there who i have no freakin idea who they are, presumabley relatives or sarah's.
James was decked out in roled up jeans heavily fadded metallica shirt (with sleeves cut off) and a mullet.
Twas a gloris mullet and Lauire took photos so thats good, as i shall be able to add it to the tileable james image. (more on that later, or never....)
Sarah was flashdanced up like a crazy woman, and had this FUCKING HUGE curly wig on, which was quite disturbing , yet ultimatley so fucking funny it wasnt funny.
Think Kirk Hammet hair.
Anyway at the end of the night i convinced james to put on the kirk hammet hair , and well the resemblence was uncanny (more for tileable james)
Anyway i nealry polished off the rest of the scotch and am now left with that tiny amount at the bottom of the bottle which is about 1 drink worth.
Which leads me to my Scotch for Rum exchange.
Or even Scotch for Sourthen Comfort.
I have a bottle of southo (well many really as its the drink of choice) and a bottle of Bundy (which i doubt i will ever drink as i am not a large rumbo.)
So if anyone wants a bottle of rum or southo, please let me know and we can do some sort of exchange.
No crappy scotch either.
Anyway sunday was spent destorying rival factions in Rome total war.
I had to start again becuase when i formatted i backed up EVERYTHING except my rome total war save game.... STUPID!
so yeah i have wiped out the gauls, the spanish, the carthargians, and the greek cities, im kinda hopping all over eroupe.
About to start taking egypt, although the egpytions are presenly the largest faction in the game, so i could have a large battle on my hands.....
At least no more elephant cavalry..... I lost so many men with those fucking elephants.....
Anyway enough nerdism's as i am only 63 % nerd. which i dont think is aqqurate, that test should of been more of a Geek test as it was mostly science questions.
If u have no fucking idea what im talking about, which is cool, check kens blog, as he is 94% nerd. The nerd king.
Also check the latest bash.org as it is fucking awesome.
Something awful has some interesting things to say about the tsunami, or to-sumi as roz's mum would say.
Also at sarah's party lauire was decked out in a tie that made jhames dad want to fuck him like jerry lewis, and was so greasy that his hair was fucking with peoples camera's flash.
I know this is glen the greacy greacy wog boy (note that greacy is spelt with a C, not my doing....) Either way laurie was resplendent in his jacket, tie and greacy hair. Admitadley it kept freking him out in that it didnt move, but hey, u get used to that.
Word to your mother, or as mylo would say - booooooooooob